Three Good Things

Throughout my journey to better understand myself, I’ve found journaling techniques to be incredibly helpful. In particular, expressing gratitude through writing has helped me to create new thought patterns in addition to re-stimulate old thinking habits. These thinking habits are what is referred to as a neural pathway; the, often automatic, path taken by electrical impulses from one part of the body to another (eg. walking face first into a cupboard door will send an impulse from my dented nose to my brain and back again to let me know, That hurt! say ,”Oww!”).

A neural pathway acts like a moving body of water. Over time, streams and rivers erode the ground beneath them from the constant movement of water over the same path. If you use the same pathway in your mind over and over again, that path will become more pronounced making it harder to use, or even notice, any other path.

Practicing gratitude helps me to get out of a couple very deeply entrenched paths in my brain: one that flows from sensation to pain to despair, and another from failure to shame. Everyone has default pathways, regardless of whether you are managing pain or mental health. To illustrate how different our default neural pathways can be, a quick test would be to play a quick thinking game, where someone says a word and you say the first thing that comes to your mind. What pathway will your brain take? If I ask three people, “What’s the first thing that comes to your mind when I say the word ‘pad’?” – the first person might think, “a place to hangout”, the second might say “paper for writing”, and the third might say “blood rag”.

Let’s not make it complicated

Gratitude is the act of noticing and, at times, documenting those moments of thanks from your day; purposefully reflecting on what moments or items in your life you are grateful to be part of or have. There’s so many ways to do this and it really doesn’t have to be complicated.

I’ve found success with a process called ‘Three Good Things’. I wish I could remember where I got this idea from, I assure you I did not come up with it myself. It’s as simple as reflecting on three good things that you’ve experienced, once a day. It can be a reflection of that day if you do it in the evening, or of the previous day if you want to do it in the morning. Or, regardless of the time you do it, it can be a moment your are thankful for that took place at any time in your life: something that happened last week, last month, or last year!

The brain is like a muscle, and the neural pathways need to stimulate different parts of the brain to keep them active. Like the saying goes, if you don’t use those pathways, you lose them. Practicing gratitude is a way to alter my default thinking habits from destructive pathways to consciously-created constructive ones. Progress and learning rather than despair and shame.

I’ve compiled for you some examples of my ‘Three Good Things’ from over the years. They are for a range of dates and not in any particular order. Some days I’m searching hard for things to be grateful for, and other times they come easy. You might be able to pick up on the hard days, hint, I like food.

‘Three Good Things’ compilation:

• I felt very strong and present at yoga today.
• The sun was warm during my lunch hour at home with Ayra.
• My apple was super crunchy and juicy today. YUM!
• I made it home for lunch with Josh.
• We got back from the field by 3pm so I took advantage of the early day and went home to pick up Ayra and Josh to go skiing at Otway. What a perfect way to end the day. Both Ayra and us got a great exercise in and we were done before it got dark!
• Left-over lamb biryani, YUM, + ‘Queer Eye’. That show gives me the feels and is such a wonderful reminder for me that we do have wonderful people out in the world and most of us just need a hand to let ourselves shine through.
• Josh and I had some good laughs watching ‘Scott Pilgrim Vs The World’. I forgot how funny it was. (fyi the original graphic novels are even better).
• I did not have a very positive feeling day. My mood was very low, bordering on the edge of tears all day. My acting supervisor called me and asked casually “How are you?”. When I answered honestly, she showed concern and asked follow up questions to better understand and see how she could help. That was nice.
• My lunch sandwich was really delicious today and yesterday: bacon, arugula from the garden, roasted beets, cheese, peppers, zucchini relish, mayo, and grainy mustard.
• Finished a crossword puzzle in a higher difficulty puzzle book. It felt so rewarding! And no looking at any answers!
• Fun and passionate sex with Josh outside on the picnic table. I hosed him off after and we had a good laugh.
• Great songs on the radio when I drove into town in the morning. Sang along with gusto.
• My peas are starting to flower!
• Found the energy to mow the lawn. I had a good flow to my pattern.
• Enjoyed a French film, ‘Les Intouchables’. Lots of laughs and made me miss the language.
• Round two of blue cheese moose burgers, YUM!
• A baby smiled at me.
• Felt able to let my weight hang during a forward fold. The stretch was delicious and pain-free.
• Had a funny sounding fart while writing my ‘Three Good Things’. It was a rush of sound, but really low and deep, like a growl or a drum.

I personally like to write in the evening and would limit it to reflecting on that day. I found it too restricting for me and changed it in the last couple years to ‘Gratitudes’ which allows me to write as many as I want, at least one, for any time period that I want.

Let’s keep the conversation going. What practices of gratitude do you have or are curious about trying?